Hi. My name is Steve XXXXX and I am a DF'd man. I am using my name, as the JW's no longer scare me. I was raised as a JW, ever since I was 3 years old. My father was a Roman Catholic and a combat veteran of W.W.II, and my mother had been an Episcopalian.

One day in 1950 (I am 52 years old) a JW came to the door and started a Bible study with my mother. After about a year, she decided that this was for her, but my father at that time was definitely not interested. My mom convinced him to attend the study, and gradually he became interested, and they both ended up getting baptized in 1951 or 1952.

I was small, but do remember a couple of Christmas celebrations. All holiday celebrations stopped cold then. There were constant meetings to attend, and field service on Saturdays and Sundays. As I progressed to elementary school, I was told that there would be no praying with the worldly, and no saluting of the flag. One day in 2nd Grade, the substitute teacher noticed that I was standing but not saluting, she came over and ordered me to salute, as I politely declined, and then she got very angry and called me a JW traitor. I experienced problems all through school because I was different, a JW.

There was never any sympathy at the Kingdom Hall, they'd just explain "suffering for Jehovah". Amongst the JW's at that time in my area, there was a lot of petty jealousies, squabbling, gossip. In my whole association, I never experienced what I thought was Christian love.

My father became a fanatic, and cut off the rest of the worldly family. I had to tow the line hard. If I didn't, I'd get a beating in the name of Jehovah. There was no worldly entertainment allowed, no other activities after school were allowed. Talk always revolved around the WT.

Even after all of this, I believed that it was the truth, and was baptized at my father's insistence on the 29th of April, 1961 at an assembly. I was 13 years old. Not long after that, we moved to Northern New England, and I attended a Congregation in New Hampshire. That was the beginning of the end for me. At that congregation, there was an extreme lack of love and caring. If you came from out of State, you were not accepted. Period. The congregation servant was a very totalitarian type, that did a lot of criticizing, and did not care who he embarrassed you in front of.

My mother and father fought a lot over the religion, and I was always stuck in the middle. By the time that I was 17, I was totally worn out from all of it, and wanted out of the house real bad. Out of the religion real bad, 'cause it brought me much anxiety and unhappiness. I was stifling, as I am very much an individual, a blunt, outspoken individual. And there is no room for someone like me in the WTS.

I struggled on though, and married at age 18 to a 17 year old JW girl. Just to get out of the house. The JW's were full of advice about what jobs I could take, and which ones that I couldn't. The result being, that I was not able to do a good job supporting my family, and realized that there was no hope of further education. My wife and I fought a lot, especially when I took a job as a police officer. All of the witnesses and my parents went spastic. I thought that I'd never hear the end of it. Here they will DF you for not supporting your family, but limit you so as to what you can do to work, that you are condemned to low paying jobs ad-infinitum. I began to think that the reason why the Society demanded no education, and being stuck with dead end jobs was to control the sheep and keep them in the fold, as if you are uneducated and broke, where else are you going to go? Uneducated people don't usually question things the way an educated person would.

I got to the point where my meeting attendance stopped, and so did the field service. I felt good working and earning a good paycheck, but I had to put in a lot of hours, and was on the 2nd. shift. My wife was nagging me constantly about backsliding in the truth, and I remember telling her that I see no love amongst the JW's. They are preprogrammed, kind of like the Stepford Wives.

I should mention that while going with my wife (prior to marriage) we did some heavy necking, and were caught. We were dragged before a committee, of three brothers. The questions that we were asked were not only filthy, but very sexually explicit, and all of this was brought to the attention of the congregation, and we were put on probation. It was extremely embarrassing, but we were repentant, because we were biblically wrong. Then we married and it was then a moot point.

As time went on I made the decision that this was not true Christianity and I wanted to wash my hands of all of it. There were things taught that did not agree with the bible. People were not acting the way true Christians act, and this was a big stumbling block to me.

It was at this time that I did sin with a woman not my wife, turned myself in and let them disfellowship me. Shortly thereafter I filed for divorce, joined the military and was sent to Korea and Vietnam. I am now a disabled veteran.
I had visitation rights with my children from the court, but the ex-wife and the JW's would always destroy my mail, and deny my visitation on the basis of DFing and apostasy. My parents quit their fellowship with me, thereby missing out on grand children and great grandchildren. My dad passed away in 1992, but Mom is living in a nursing home 1500 miles away, and till the day he died, my father refused fellowship with me, and my mother will not talk to me, and I found out that the Elders of her congregation have power of attorney from her.

To put the icing on their cake, I am a devout Born Again Christian with a personal relationship with the Lord. I also hold two degrees, and made something of myself.

I love the Lord dearly, and felt such relief when I found out that the Lord's Grace relieved me of my sins, and that no organization can take away my salvation . My belief authority is the Holy Bible (King James version). The Lord has helped me through a lot. I never felt that I had a relationship with him in the JW's. I was scared of him, as the God that they speak about is not the same one that the Bible speaks of.

I have been WT free for thirty years now, and will never go back. As a matter of fact, a young woman JW came to my door this AM, identified herself as a JW, and I said,"Let me tell you dear, I am a Born again Christian, but am also a disfellowshipped apostate. The bible slammed shut, and she turned to dust instantly. I harbor no hatred for any of the witnesses, as a matter of fact, I feel sorry for them, as if they do not accept Jesus salvation, they are condemning themselves and others for eternity.

I appreciate your website, and am truly heartened by some of the accounts of others ex-JW's. I welcome any e-mail correspondence from any ex-JW's. gunny_04861@yahoo.com or laporte3@earthlink.net

Steve