I was born into 'the truth' as was my Mother, and her whole family. But, unlike her family, my Mom married a non-practicing Roman Catholic. I found out later in life, the only reason my Father married my Mother was because he was overwhelmed by her zest for life cosidering she was terminal, and living on borrowed time. My Mom had uncontrolable internal bleeding, intensified by the fact that her religion shunned blood transfusions. But, she surprised everyone, by not only surviving, but by doing the impossible, giving birth to ME!

From as far back as I can remember, I was told that "I was a gift from God".My Mother promised God to bring me up in the 'truth' whether I liked it or not, and breaking her promise to my Father, that she was done with Jehovah's Wittnesses.

Of course, as a child, you never doubt that everyone you spend a minimum of 5 hours weekly of intensive public Bible Study, at home prayers and studies and 'door to door' ministries,can be wrong. It's all you've ever known. Bottom line, you're taught that you're right and the rest of the world is wrong. But in my circumstance, my own Father was part of 'the wrong'! I am not proud to admit this, but by the age of 10 or 11, I entertained serious suicidal thoughts. I went so far as to climb over our 7th and 10th floor balcony in an effort to escape my emotional turmoil. The ONLY reason that I never jumped at that time, was I didn't wan't to hurt my folks left behind. There is a J.W. book called "Paradise Lost, Paradise Gained" which depicts on one of it's pages a mountain of human bones. I was told that my Daddy was to be part of that pile,if he didn't convert to 'our way' of thinking.

School was it's own nightmare, as all J.W.'s children know. Being ostracized for not participating in the local anthem or prayer. Not participating wasn't enough...you were forced to turn it into a production by leaving the classroom entirely during these ceremonies. As you were for any classes that had anything to do with 'worldly holiday's'...which was every time you got over the last one. I remember having a History teacher in grade 6 that taught the theory of evolution. I was instructed that I could only attend his class if I could counter everything he taught with the new J.W. book denouncing any and all thoughts on evolution. Even though I was an exceptional student, by beliefs cost me many grades.

Irregardless, I never questioned my beliefs untill I had the rare opportunity to make friends. They were good people, and I couldn't understand why they were doomed to die in 'Armageddon' and I was to be spared because of a different religion. Good people are just that..,.good people.

Jehovah's Wittnesses also believe that THEY are your family and you should not associate with 'worldly people'. That's why they call each other 'brother' and 'sister' . Well, when my life fell apart, due to divorce, I was shunned by my 'spriritual' family, and I wasn't yet 15 years old. If they couldn't comfort me at my time in need, who was left? The REAL PEOPLE...that's who.

I walked out of a Kingdom Hall for the last time when I was 15 years old, and I will never go back. But, it took me at least 5 years or more to get all of they're preachings out of my head. With time I have made quite a few discoveries, the main one being they have mastered a form of brain washing. Adults have the ability to make the're own choices in life, be it bad or good, but forcing this idoctrination down the throats of children should be held accountable.

I am a good person! I work hard for a living, and I often put other peoples needs before my own. I am also intelligent. In that, I have done some investigation into the roots of Jehovah's Wittnesses, like my Father before me. What we discovered was, that not only do the majority of J.W.'s know that one man named William Russell founded their whole belief sysytem, but more importantly, they don't want to know. And why would they? It would make their lives a lie. Alot of Jehovah's Wittnesses use the internet, but they only see what they want to. They don't see that their 'so called religion' is found under more sites dealing with cults than actual religion.

In closing, now almost 30 years after leaving their cult, my Mom still thinks I'm just going through a phase. How sad. Even though I now call myself Agnostic, I thank God for getting me out of their self-righeous clutches, and treating people for what they truly are...just plain good folks. If they're not, I try to avoid them. Teach your children to be loving and honest and not to do anything they wouldn't want done to them.

A Survivor...Naomi