A sister's phone called to my mom changed my life forever. Let me explain. At birth, I had some medical problems, and I was always in the hospital for illness. A sister had a daughter who was going through similar medical problems as me. My mom and her talked for several hours. My mom left her phone number with her. My mom found out that she was a Jehovah's Witness. This sister had another sister start studying with my mom and 6 months later my mom was baptized. I was raised in the Jehovah's Witness faith.

As I was growing up, I always believed that this was the 'truth'. I never doubted it in my mind, until I got older.

I remember going to the conventions and my mom telling me not to look at the picketing 'apostates'. I always did look at them, even though I was crying to my mom that I wasn't.

As I turned into adulthood, I was raped. I, of course told the elders, and the first thing that asked was "did I scream?" I was shocked when they asked me that. I was so afraid that I would be disfellowshipped for being raped. I remember begging the elders not to disfellowship me. You see, I thought all disfellowshipped/disassociated persons were demonized. I was afraid to be demonized as well.

I married a 'worldly' man. Before we got married, we lived together for 6 months. I was not counseled on that, because I wasn't attending meetings regularly.

Why did I quit being a Jehovah's Witness? A few issues (1) I went to a chat room on AOL that was entitled "Jehovah's Witnesses and Friends", I saw a lot of the judgment that the Witnesses had on the 'apostates' in the room. I found that to be unjust. (2) An Ex- Jehovah's Witness gave me two great books to read Crisis Of Conscious and Christian Freedom both from former Governing Body member Ray Franz. I read the Crisis Of Conscious book and was shocked on my findings.
(3) A sister that was in my Kingdom Hall told me that if I wasn't 'in the truth' then she wouldn't associate with me. That felt like a slap to my face. I always knew that Jehovah's Witnesses don't associated with Non-Jehovah's Witness, but I never had that issue confronted to me.

What should I do know?

After debating in my mind on what to do. I prayed to God to give me the wisdom of what to do. After I prayed I had the urge in me to write a 14 page letter of disassociation to my congregation. And I did!!

In the meantime, I was taking America Sign Language classes at my local college and the instructor asked us to go her church to watch her interrupt. I did, and I loved the message that the church was giving.

I felt a tug in my heart and I started to pray and I asked Jesus to come into my heart and into my life. After I said "Amen" I felt a powerful presence that had lifted up all my worries and sorrows and my stresses and I felt FREE for once in my life.

Jennifer